I am writing my first book about relationships with narcissistic individuals, detailing the psychological and emotional abuse I endured from a man in the area where I live.
Given that I have no idea who he truly is or what he does in real life (aside from knowing where he works), and now I suspect that everything he told me was pure fabrication, I’ve come to realize that I might be in real danger as I approach the end of this project.
This post may sound like a joke or, worse, paranoid craziness, but it’s a genuine concern.
I'm writing this to keep a record in case something happens to me, since I live alone and far from civilization. While my location isn't completely isolated, the few people who come around are usually only here in the summer. Even if there were more people around, the danger would still be very real.
How could I explain what is happening?
My research about narcissistic individuals has shown me how dangerous and vindictive they can be, and I can't ignore the potential risks. This isn’t just about feeling scared; it’s about being prepared and making sure there’s a record of my situation.
The gravity of this realization hit me like a freight train, shaking me to the core. As I delved deeper into recounting my experiences, each word I penned unveiled another layer of darkness I had been unwittingly submerged in. It was as if I had been navigating through a thick fog, blinded by manipulation and gaslighting, unable to discern the truth from the carefully crafted illusions.
The daily barrage of control tactics and psychological warfare left me reeling, like a ship tossed about in a stormy sea. What I once perceived as mere confusion and fatigue now revealed itself as the insidious grip of a covert narcissist, tightening its hold around me with each passing day.
In the midst of my journey to heal from past wounds, I found myself ensnared in a web of deceit and manipulation so intricate that it took every ounce of strength I had to claw my way out. It was a battle waged not just in the external world, but within the depths of my own psyche, where the lines between reality and illusion blurred into a murky haze of uncertainty.
The shock of realization hit me like a lightning bolt, electrifying every nerve in my body with the stark truth of my situation. I was not just a victim of circumstance; I was a pawn in a game of psychological and emotional combat, orchestrated by a master manipulator whose true identity lay shrouded in darkness.
My mind was under siege.
Living in a remote area without a close network of friends or neighbors leaves me vulnerable. For example, if the glass wall I have were to be shattered, where would I sleep? Where would I go?
I don't have the resources to fix such damages immediately, but even if I had the money, it could take a week before i found someone to help me.
Abandoning my belongings isn't an option. This predicament would force me to stay put, despite the risks, until I can find a solution.
So, as I continue to work on my book, I'm also taking steps to protect myself. This post is one of those steps. It serves as a testament to my situation and a plea for understanding should anything happen to me. My hope is that sharing my story will not only shed light on the dangers of dealing with narcissistic individuals but also ensure that I'm not forgotten, even in my solitude.
This is not a drill. I repeat, this is real.
God, what have I done?
How could I be that stupid?
How did I get here?
Where have I lost myself?
When have I decided that I should be prey for individuals without a soul?
I hope to laugh about this one day. Although it really isn't a laughing matter.